I ultimately blame movies and tv.
This is the story I see over and over:
Girl has problems.
Meets a guy.
The two slowly fall in love.
Hardships.
They end up together in the end.
The guy is totally sweet and perfect.
Often there are conflicts though (bad boy, different group of friends, start off an enemies, conflicting interests...) that give slight variations to this general idea.
Now who hasn't seen a movie based on this. I watch this kind of movies all the time; it's called a chick flick. I feel as though these movies have made girls develop a distorted view of boys and life. That in the end, the bad boy will change his ways for you and that there will be a happy ending, including the cliche of a sunset in the background. I hate to admit to it, but I still hope for this happy ending in the back of my mind. Don't we all. We all want that last scene of the movie where you can only imagine the best for the rest of their lives. I want to think that somewhere, there is a guy that I will spend the rest of my life with, but I don't want to be naive.
Real life is not the movies. Guys are not perfect. Relationships are messy; feelings get involved and often one person is left heart-broken. People lie, it's inevitable.
This whole rant is making me feel like a cynic, and I do not want to think that way. But, when I feel disappointed about a guy and I think about how I view perfect relationships I have realized that many of my expectations are not even from real life.
My job for us: Stop taking movies and television for real life. Real life is not the same.
I have to believe that somewhere out there is a young man who is waiting for a young woman to appreciate the kind of guy who can make and keep a lifelong commitment and whose ambitions and interests dovetail with yours. Make a point to hang out in the places those kind of men frequent. You have already figured out the kind of man you want-- will make sorting through the ones you don't want a lot easier.
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