Influences

Audrey Hepburn, the sound of Imogen Heap music, beautiful clothing-- those are the things that influence me. I stray from the teen norm of drugs and alcohol.

Why? One, they make you look ridiculous. How many times have you seen a drunken mess? Not exactly the most classy behavior. I try my best to be classy, and why put myself down a notch when I can easily avoid alcohol.

The taste. Oh my. There is not much that is more disgusting than the taste of liquor. If it tastes horrible, shouldn't that be a sign that it is probably not good to ingest.

Calories. Alcohol is so high in calories. Especially those fruity drinks that try to disguise the taste of alcohol. I try to keep my calorie intake low so why add this to everything else I eat. Drinking makes you gain weight. End of story. I love clothes so I am not going to get too fat to wear my clothes.

Other drugs. Wow, saying the word drug just sounds dirty. Once again, the whole classy behavior is a major factor. Doing drugs is not classy and never will be. Smoke coming out of your mouth looks gross and totally un-natural.

The smell. It smells awful. I hate being in the house of a smoker. Just being in the house temporarily leaves me feeling dirty. No thank you!

Behavior. A lot of people say that using drugs makes them more fun, more focused and more intelligent. These are all lies. At the sound of this idea, immediately tell the person that they are wrong. So so wrong.

My point.

I am living life happily without this stuff, and so should everyone else. Yeah, I know, very unlikely, but a good thought. There are so many great people out there that are letting drugs and alcohol take away their dreams and potential. Wasted talent is one of life's greatest tragedies so never let the wrong influences take over your life.

More Sunshine

Why

I swear I sometimes like being alone more than I like being with large groups of people.

I just want to sit around, listen to good music and read good books.

I like thinking.

about...

clothes

friends

lyrics

everything

anything.

Basically I like to think about other people. Trying to figure out the intentions of others and their inner emotions. Its pretty time consuming. Just when you think you have someone figured out, guess what, the person does something completely unexpected.

Now you're back to square one. You have no idea why the person did it.

I used to think I wanted to be a Psychiatrist. I love trying to figure out what people are about to do and why they have done certain things. I also really like helping people solve their problems. I wish there was a way to do this without going to college for 3298402398402384082309480 years. Not worth it. I'd rather just be a good friend, so I think I'll stick to that.

Enough ranting...

Savannah

One night Sam and I headed downtown for the night. We had lots of fun and met lots of people like the two guys pictured above with us. Rett and "Street Blood" came up and wanted a picture with us and gave me their numbers so we could all meet up later. It was actually really funny.

My first time getting Chinese! I have to say it was pretty delicious.
Playing in the geysers in Savannah with all the little kids.
Haley and I enjoying shopping downtown in Savannah

The gang hanging out on the sandbar at Tybee Island.
Me, Mikala, and Sam hanging out at the beach.
The gang doing a jump shot.
The sandbar made it possible to stand in the water out by the "Danger of drowning sign" in the ocean. It was pretty crazy.
The gang hanging out on some rocks on the beach.

Today is the day

In about nine hours eight friends and myself are embarking on a road trip to Savannah, Georgia.

High school is over, and summer has begun.

Look back for pictures and stories about the trip.

Last Day of High School

Today is my last full day of high school. Ever.
Am I sad?
Not at all actually, which was unexpected.
I thought I would at least feel a little bit sad.
But no, nothing.

I figure thatI will keep in touch with the people I want to, and the rest won't matter.
Instead of feeling sad about today, I'm excited for Sunday.
After all of the anticipation, we are finally leaving for Savannah!
Our own kind of Senior Week. :)

Ulcers

Okay, so last week, I got an ulcer. No biggie right?
Wrong, that one slowly turned into thirty.
Not exaggerating. Its ridic.
So today I went to the doctors for it and what was the solution?
Nothing! There is no cure for them. It is unknown why you get them, but it is believed that stress is a trigger.
Basically, the end of high school has caused thirty painful ulcers.
Blah!

Meet my new favorite sandal

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn

I'm surrounded by impostors everywhere I turn

I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn

I'm the only one who's noticed

I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wonder what I gotta do

Or who I'm supposed to be

I don't want to be anything other than me

Knockoff purses

Purses.

Something used everyday by millions of girls.
"knock off purse" is an immitation of a designer purse.
There is a girl in one of my classes who always talks about how awful knock-off's are and it made me stop to think a little bit.


What if you think about friendships in terms of purses.
At first glance, the knock-off looks perfect, but slowly it starts to fall apart because it is made of lower quality materials.
Many friendships are build upon "bad material" such as a common dislike for someone else, partying, and other bad things. Once you take away making fun of that other person, or the drinking, there is nothing left of the relationships. It slowly falls apart.


On the other hand, those designer purses are very expensive, but they are also less likly to fall apart because they are high quality.
Friendships like these take much more effort to make because you are buliding a relationships on ideas, activities and other interests. These relationships are built with "high quality material" and are more likely to last. This does not mean that it is perfect and unable to fall apart, it is just less likely.



My point: When it comes to your relationships, go designer. Take the extra time and effort to find friends that

Song for Someone

Inside-out, upside-down,

Twisting beside myself.

Stop that now,

'Cause you and I were never meant to meet.

I think you'd better leave.

It's not safe in here.

I feel a weakness coming on.

Alright then,

I could keep your number for a rainy day.

That's where this ends.

No mistakes no misbehaving.

I was doing so well.

Could we just be friends?

I feel a weakness coming on.

It's not meant to be like this.

Not what I planned at all.

I don't want to feel like this

Yeah.

No it's not meant to be like this.

Not what I planned at all.

I don't want to feel like this.

So that makes it all your fault.

Inside-out, upside-down,

Twisting beside myself.

Stop that now.

You're as close as it gets

Without touching me.

Oh now don't make it harder

Than it already is.

I feel a weakness coming on.

It's not meant to be like this.

Not what I planned at all.

I don't want to feel like this.

Yeah.

No it's not meant to be like this.

Not what I planned at all.

I don't want to feel like this.

So that makes it all your fault.

Big trouble losing control.

Primary resistance at a critical low.

on the double gotta get a hold.

Point of no return one second to go.

No response on any level,

Red-alert this vessel's under seige.

Total overload all systems down they've got control.

There's no way out.

We are surrounded.

Give in, give in and relish every minute of it.

Freeze, awake here forever.

I feel a weakness coming on.

It’s not meant to be like this,

Not what I planned at all.

I don’t want to feel like this.

Yeah.

No it’s not meant to be like this,

It's just what I don't need.

Why make me feel like this?

It's definitely all your fault.

I can't help myself

I'm addicted to a life of material
It's some kind of joke,

I'm obsessively
opposed to the typical
All we care about is,

runway models,

cadillacs
and liquor bottles

Give me something

I wanna be retro glamour,
Hollywood yes we live for the

Fame
Doin' it for the
Fame
Cuz we wanna live the life of the rich and
famous
Fame
Doin' it for the
Fame
Cuz we gotta taste for champagne and endless
fortune

Fame fame baby
The fame fame
We live for the fame fame baby
The fame fame
Isn't it a shame shame baby
A shame shame
In it for the fame fame baby
The fame fame

Can't Take It In

Can't close my eyes
They're wide awake Every hair on my body
has got a thing for this place

Oh empty my heart
I've got to make room for this feeling
so much bigger than me


It couldn't be any more beautiful
I can't take it in.


Weightless in love.
Unravelling
For all that's to come
and all that's ever been
We're back to the board
with every shade under the sun
Let's make it a good one


It couldn't be any more beautiful
I can't take it in

All that I wanted.
All that I ever needed.
All that I wonder.
So beautiful.

New favorite song: "Can't Take it In" by Imogen Heap. I could listen to it over and over. Its just a beautiful song, check it out.

Take charge of your attitude

“The longer I live,

the more I realize

the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude,

to me,

is more important than facts.

It is more important than the past,

the education,

the money,

than circumstances,

than failure,

than successes,

than what other people think or say or do.

It is more important than appearance,

giftedness or skill.

It will make or break a company.

a church.

a home.

The remarkable thing

is we have a choice everyday

regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past.

we cannot change the fact

that people will act in a certain way.

We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do

is play on the one string we have,

and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life

is 10% what happens to me

and 90% of how I react to it.

And so it is with you,

we are in charge of our attitudes.”

Charles R. Swindoll

Say how you feel

“It hurts to love someone

and not be loved in return,

but what is the most painful

is to love someone

and never find the courage
to let the person know how you feel.”

So I found this quote and it really got me thinking. Is this quote true? Is it better to get it out in the open, even if the person does not feel the same? Is it better to get it out and potentially ruin the friendship?

This is a tough question. Personally, I get nervous sharing such things. Any possible rejection stops me from taking such risks. I think of the worst possibility and assume that is what will happen.

But, maybe that is a good way to be. Think about sharing it and think of the worst thing that could happen. If you are okay with that possibility, please share. Get it off your chest. It may turn out better than you dreamed, but keep the possibility of rejection in your mind. Reality is not a cheesy chick flick; professing a crush does not necessarily mean it will work out as it does in your favorite flick. But, that doesn't mean you should be a cynic either. You need to hope the best, but expect the worst.

My point: Life is short, take risks. Go for what you want. This is your chance to get what you want so don't let anything stop you, especially fear.

Cloudy relationships

"True friendship is like sound health;

the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."

Charles Caleb Colton

Clouds.

My inspiration for the day.

When it come to clouds there are two ways ot view them:

1. Bringing bad weather

2. Providing shade from the heat

This is kind of a metaphor for one of my friendships. I have known this one person for four years. Our friendships has been very on and off. Any good times are followed by clouds of despair. I always think of this person as a storm cloud, bringing conflict and stress into my life. All throughout high school, our relationships has been this way. This year, we were on and off as usual, but near the end we had a five month span of not talking. After prom, we got talking again and decided to be friends again. A lot of people think we are just a storm cloud getting ready to go off, but I think we're finally turning into that cloud that brings shade from the sun. Something nice. Something enjoyable.

My point? Even complicated friendships can be resolved. It is worth the effort. Now, I can talk to this friend again. In fact this person made a copy of a new cd I wanted. That is the kind of friendship I always hoped that we could have again. Finally resolution at the end of high school. Finally growing closer instead of growing apart as many other of my relationships have been.

Its refreshing.